Day One or One Day

I admit I have an addiction. I have tried quitting, but it never lasts for long. I have tried slowly weening off and going cold turkey, yet I always come back for more. The craving is always there, it never goes away and its always on my mind.

Let give you some backstory. I am a part of gen z. My generation was the first to experience the effects of social media at an early developmental age. I remember when the very first iPhone came out, I was in middle school and several of my classmates already had the phone. Meanwhile, I still rocked a classic old flip phone. This was way before me or my classmates got hooked onto social media, but even with that product, the original iPhone, I should've realized that something huge was going to change.

I was embarrassed to pull out my phone. It worked perfectly fine and there were no problems with it. But it wasn't an iPhone. I associated that phone with being cool, just like everyone else in my school. Since then I have chased the latest technology to “stay ahead of the curve”, to keep with everyone else, and to validate myself by relying on other people's feelings.

Fast forward to high school and almost everyone in my grade aside from having a smartphone now had several different social media accounts. Early on in high school, Snapchat, Facebook, and Instagram were extremely popular and I spend hours each day mindlessly scrolling, looking at other people live their lives.

I felt the need to share with all of my followers any big achievement I obtained, the latest meal or item I purchased, with what friends I was hanging out with and where. All of this so that other people could think of me as a cool, fun person. None of it was for me.

If you looked at my life you would assume I was the happiest person alive. Constantly surrounded by friends, always going out, and having fun. Yet all of it was a facade. I'm not the first to say this, and I won't be the last. But the effects of social media are extremely dangerous and have grave consequences especially for young adults who are still in the process of developing.

We put up this fake barrier behind by the screen, we can be anyone we want. We can control our online persona, who sees our content, what we put out. We can act as tough as we want, we can take 45 minutes to respond to on online argument after researching to sound smarter than the person on the other side of the disagreement, we can lie and say we're fine, or we don't have to say that all, all we need to do is post a picture and that's it.

Its called social media, and although we see each other's content and might drop the occasional like here and there, we never really interact with one another online. Online we are supposed to be confident, happy, and tough, so nobody wants to share and open up about how they truly feel. We follow our friends, classmates, and old acquaintances but never comment on their posts, shoot them a message or check upon them. We follow each other and have a window into one another lives, making it seem like we know whats going on. But the social part of social media is now gone.

We engage in pointless fights, with people with opposing views thinking that we can change their minds and that we can change the world. We believe that our online fights are righteous and necessary, but we fail to realize that online, we live in an echo chamber and hardly ever deal with the other side. We spent hours a day scrolling on our phone, looking for a distraction, bored out of our minds yet we don't stop.

I'll be the first to admit, I am addicted to my phone, I am addicted to social media, and I am addicted to spending hours of my life on something that will never yield any benefits to me.

I recently saw the Netflix film, “The Social Dilemma”, and it confirmed a lot of things I had already heard from Andrew Yang while he was campaigning. If you are interested in learning more about the film, I highly suggest you watch it.

After years of trying to stop, I have finally decided to let go for good. Today is 09/15/2020, and I plan on not using social media at least my birthday, 10/05/1997. Instead of wasting my time aimlessly scrolling through my phone, I will take more time to live in the moment and be present.

Today marks day one without using social media. I believe that while on social media, I became lazier and unmotivated. I have decided to make it a priority to take care of my physical and mental health. I want to get back in shape, cook more healthy meals, eat out less, and be more active. Live in the moment and enjoy experiences with the ones I love.

Today I used a sensory deprivation tank for the first time. Something that ive been wanting to do for months, but has consistently put off. It was an amazing experience and it made me realize that there have been very few moments in my life, where I was left with only my thoughts and nothing else. I did a lot of self-reflection and I am extremely happy with my choice to take a break from social media.

Instead of using social media, I spent a lot of time mastering my Spanish skills with Duolingo, practicing meditation with headspace whenever I found myself restless or anxious, spent time learning python on my phone with the mobile coding app SoloLearn and took my dogs out on several walks today.

My addiction may have been more severe than others. I would wake up and immediately check my phone, go to the bathroom, and scroll on my phone. Drink my coffee while checking social media on my computer, play games while in the middle of my online classes, and go to sleep every night once again with my phone. I spent such a huge portion of my day behind a screen and for what? It didn't make me happier, it didn't make me smarter, it didn't make me a better friend, boyfriend, or relative. Technological distractions made me lazy, angry at the world, judgemental, and self-conscious.

Now that I feel that I am free from the clutches of modern distractions, I feel like I can use my time more wisely and explore new things. Later this week I will be trying out a cyro tank for the first time. Next week my sister and I will be skydiving. The week after that I will be ziplining in lake Travis. Every day, I will start eating healthier, cooking all my meals, and quit eating out. I will call old friends and check up on them instead of simply liking their posts. I will go for walks with and without my pets for my health and theirs and most importantly I will be a better friend, boyfriend, and relative by living in the moment instead of behind a screen. For too long I have said that I would stop one day, I'm happy to say that today marks day one.

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