How to Piss Off a Liberal

“Your skull fucked little lives

In shadows where you hide

A life that was designed

You’ve been cheated oh so blind.”

You would think that, with this title, that I am some sort of right wing type. That is not true. Liberals were bought out years ago. Allowed to operate within a set of boundaries. They could do what they want as long as they didn’t step outside the lines. If they did they were shut down pretty quick.

It is fun, in light of that, to piss them off. I was thinking just this morning as I sat in a park in Chico, CA that maybe the indigenous people who now have control of this property should just shut it down. They should declare it an autonomous zone and allow access only by permission. That would would piss off the liberals who think they are being special by allowing the natives to have a modicum of control.

The liberals and conservatives are getting closer and closer ideologically. All you have to do is mention that and the liberal will go off the rails. They are actually much easier to piss off than the right wing. All you have to say is something that offends their sense of order and off they go. Most of the right wing people I know and with whom I have conversations, may be dismissive or they may not agree with you but they will, at least, talk.

When I was in college I worked for the school newspaper and one of my assignments was to interview all the representatives of political parties that were on campus to support their candidates. One of the candidates was Ralph Nader. I like Ralph Nader and I like what he stands for but his supporters on campus that day left something to be desired. To all of my questions they gave the same answer which was, ‘I can’t speak for Mr. Nader on that.” I thought that was kind of weird as it seems the point of representing someone’s position is to speak for them in their absence. In contrast to the Nader people the Jerry Falwell people were able to answer all my questions. They were aware, engaged and capable of having a conversation. If I did not know about Jerry Falwell or Ralph Nader and had to depend on their campaign supporters for information I would probably have chosen Falwell as the better candidate.

Noam Chomsky said: “The smart way to keep people passive and obedient is to strictly limit the spectrum of acceptable opinion, but allow very lively debate within that spectrum — even encourage the more critical and dissident views. That gives people the sense that there’s free thinking going on, while all the time the presuppositions of the system are being reinforced by the limits put on the range of the debate.”

That has never been more true in the age of “the woke.” There is debate amongst liberals about almost everything but none of it has any bearing on the much larger issue that is extant. To be fair the conservatives are not focusing too much on that larger issue either other than categorically denying that there is an issue.

The liberals are as bad as the right wingers when it comes to justifying and defending indefensible and unjustifiable positions. There are supposed climate activists and people pretending to be aware of the climate crises who are heavily invested in cryptocurrency which, as I’m sure you know is an environmental disaster. There are liberals who claim to care about you and care about keeping you informed who will shut you out the moment you challenge their precious reality.

The dogmatic assertions that they are right and everyone else is wrong is just as annoying in a liberal as it is in a conservative maybe more so in the case of the liberal because they will tell you that they know better.

If you are interested in pissing off a liberal you should follow these simple steps: 1st find a liberal. This shouldn’t be too hard as they seem to be everywhere these days. 2nd introduce yourself to said liberal and ask them if they would like to chat about irreversible climate disaster. The first thing they will do is look at you with a mixture of condescension and pity. They know more than you and know that driving a Prius, recycling and carrying a re-usable grocery bag is going to save the planet. 3rd tell them they are out of their mind if they think those worthless steps are going to save anything. 4th watch them implode. They will tell you at least they are doing something. Then you can say that we are in this predicament because people like them did the very least they could do and were unwilling to make hard choices because it would impact their precious little lives. That’s when the real fireworks will begin. They may just walk away, they may start a screaming match with you or they may try to demean and marginalize you in order to maintain their “superior” position. You will have been successful in pissing off a liberal and you can go home and put a check mark on the calendar for that day.

You should actively try to piss of as many liberals, and throw some conservatives in there for good measure, as often as possible. The idea here is if you piss enough of them off maybe one or two will get the message and quit acting like they’re special and wake up. The problem is you will have to piss a lot of them off to get one or two to come around.

Your goal should be to piss off at least three liberals per week as a starting point. You can build up from there but no sense in overtaxing yourself right out of the gate. Build up slowly and see if, over a few months, you can get up to three liberals and one conservative per day.

That would be a noble goal and in a world ready to go down in flames at any moment perhaps one of the only achievable goals there is time for.

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