When Anxiety Is Your Only Friend

It all started with a photography class.

Photography was my worst class. I hated every minute of it. It seems like an easy class right? Some people let their artistic juices run wild. Mine were all over the place.

Every single day in that class I would feel my chest so tight. I felt that I was wearing layers of spandex. When I was in photography class my junior year it hit me that I may have been dealing with anxiety.

I got anxious over the smallest things. We would have a project almost every month.

Our projects required us to check out cameras. There were only enough available for half the class. If you wanted to check out a camera you would have to sign up and it was a race to get there. Even if I did get a camera I didn’t know how to use it. All my photos sucked.

We also had to use photoshop on our pictures. I sucked for the dear life of me. Ugh, I hated using photoshop! If I ever apply for a job for you and I say that I know how to use photoshop I’m lying.

Again we also only had enough computers for half of the classroom. It was a war to get our projects done.

What I hated most in this world was presenting our pictures to the class. Yup, my teacher would have us show our pictures to the class. Her heart was in the right place but it was my nightmare.

I felt inferior to my classmates. I had classmates that dominated photography. Their pictures? Perfect! Photoshop? Seamless! I mean I was dealing with geniuses. Photoshop…eh well it wasn’t my thing.

I contemplated dropping out over it once.

Here’s the scoop, I hated going to this class every day. I mean it’s silly actually. Like c’mon who gets so worked up over photography class? Well… I did. 16-year-old me thought that I was literally going to die from it.

Anxiety is no stranger to me, in fact, it’s the opposite. It’s something that I’ve come to know very well. I don’t want to call us friends because then it sounds like I want it around. I don’t.

However, it is something I have to accept that’s going to be around.

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