Are We Harming Our Children by Not Getting Their Informed Consent?

Are we teaching them to expect betrayal?

The waiting area of the hospital’s clinic lab was nearly full. A sea of blue masks spread across the room; each person seated six feet apart. Two rows over was a young mom and her toddler. The girl, only three to four years old, was tall for her age. Someone had taken the time to braid her black hair. Each pigtail sported neon-colored blue and pink ties.

Like a quiet mouse, she hung around her mom’s lap. It wasn’t until a lab technician called the family’s name that I noticed her. Holding her mom’s hand, she followed the tech out of the room, bright-eyed and curious.

I returned to reading my book while I waited my turn. I didn’t give the two of them a second thought until five minutes later when I heard a child’s blood-curdling screams.

“All done, all done, all done!” she screeched so fast that the words ran together. It was as if the little girl was pleading a desperate mantra or a prayer. Breathless sobs accompanied her shrieks.

Someone murmured to her. Their voice low and comforting. “It’s almost all done. Soon it’ll be over.”

Then her cries pitched higher. “Take it out! Take it out!” she yelled, over and over.

My heart clenched. A mom myself, I’d recognized the scenario since I’d been in the same situation with my three sons. The toddler was getting her next round of vaccinations against childhood diseases — a necessary life-saving evil.

But the little girl didn’t know this.

Her mother hadn’t prepared her for the appointment. How did I know? As a psychologist, I’m trained to draw hypotheses from such interactions. The toddler’s calm demeanor as she followed her mother back into the room told me so.

I wondered how her mom had explained the need to stop at the hospital clinic. Maybe the two of them never discuss that day’s schedule. Whatever was or wasn’t said, the toddler had believed that that day would be a good day. That no harm was coming to her.

She then pleaded, “I don’t wanna it again!”

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